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Here’s a mystery maybe someone can help me with: for some strange reason, the the shoe laces on my right-foot shoe almost always come untied. No matter how well I may tie my shoes, eventually, inexplicably, the laces on the right-foot’s shoe come completely undone.

Aside from the safety hazards introduced by two pieces of a tiny rope haphazardly flopping around my feet, threatening to cause me to fall, thereby endangering both myself and anyone unlucky enough to be in my path (who would almost surely perish from the great amount of weight being thrust upon them, making me the bringer of both death and destruction upon their house), my biggest problem with this is the slob factor.

Here’s a mental exercise:

• Picture a typical sloppy male college student. He probably has on jeans, 2 t-shirts (a short sleeve shirt atop a long sleeve shirt), messy hair, a backpack over only one shoulder and — LOOK, THERE IT IS! HIS RIGHT FOOT! HIS SHOE IS UNTIED! Automatically you expect this guy to be a total slob. Bad hygiene, messy room, and no organization skills. He probably plays Dungeons and Dragons and spends all day looking at online porn. No girlfriend, no real confidence: this guy will probably spend time in jail for rape and theft. He’s probably an art major.
• Now, think of the same guy, but make sure his shoe laces are tied. All of a sudden his room is clean. He has lots of friends and has fairly good hygiene. He’s also organized and somewhat popular with the ladies. He even goes to clubs where people wear more than just black. Sure, he’s going through his basic college phase, but in a few years he’ll be a business executive, or a scientist, or a famous actor. He probably plays some WoW, but spends most of his time studying for his liberal arts and business degrees.

Now take this to the business world:

• A guy in a suit and tie, dressed for success. His hair is combed, he smiles and is obviously humble. But wait, what’s this? There, on his right foot — HIS SHOE LACES ARE UNTIED! You suddenly notice that his hair’s not all that neat, that it’s actually somewhat sloppy, like if he needs a haircut. He smiles, but has broccoli on his teeth. Is that a five o’clock shadow I see? While his suit is nice, the Family Guy clip-on tie doesn’t do much for his image, although it’s more than enough for his cubicle, from which he’ll never escape.
• Compare that guy who has his shoe laces tied. He probably has his own corner office. He smiles galiantly and his tie — well, now, that silken beauty was a gift given to him by the company president, who thought it would be a hoot to give his new VP a Family Guy tie to wear to work, along with that nice 25% raise. He has a full head of hair, perfectly trimmed and never does he show up with anything less than a perfectly smooth face. Good thing his shoes never untie themselves. (Upon closer inspection, you realize his shoes… are slip-ons! Good thing that first guy hasn’t yet discovered these.)

See why this seemingly insignificant issue annoys me so? Anyone else ever have that problem, that one shoe’s laces seem always to come undone, or is the Universe trying to tell me something?

As I was walking out of the grocery store today, I noticed the mural of managers this particular supermarket chain tends keeps above its doors, where displayed are the pictures and names for all that store’s managers. Out of habit I started reading them when when something threw me for a bit of a loop.

“Sean Hansen … Michael Holmes … Jeff Gonzales … Clint Chandraprasad … wait, what?” I did a double-take.

The picture above that last name was that of an Indian, through and through. (By the length of the last name, I’m guessing he was from the south, probably Hyderabad, probably Telegu.) After my swift double-take, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself a little.

So, I thought to myself, how again does an Indian come about being named “Clint”?

It isn’t uncommon for foreigners, especially those from Asia, to take on more American-sounding names. After all, how many of us have met a “Joe Yu”, a “Wendy Xing”, or a “Steve Nguyen”? For a long time, even Europeans and Hispanics would have to choose more American-friendly names. (A personal example, Cartagena would likely have been made into Carter, or something similar.) What I find interesting — and maybe this is just me — is the strange way American-sounding names are almost forcibly tacked on to Indian names, as in the case of mister Chandraprasad.

This reminds me of something that happened a couple of years ago: I was calling Dell tech support because I had a problem with my laptop, an older Inspiron 8100. After being transferred to tech support, a lady with a rather heavy Indian accent answered.

“Hallo, this is Susan,” she said. “How may I help you?”

After a little bit of troubleshooting, I decided to veer the conversation off into a more friendly direction. I went on to ask her, “So, where are you located?”

“In India,” she answered.

Well, duh, I thought. “What part?” I continued. I was familiar enough with India to know that “south” usually meant Hyderabad and “north” usually meant Dheli.

“The south part.”

“Ah, so Hyderabad?”

“No, actually. I’m in Bangalore, but I’m from near Hyderabad.” She sounded a bit more excited, probably at the realization that she wasn’t talking to a regular American. “Do you know India?” she asked me.

“Ah, I see. No, I haven’t gone to India,” which is why I knew not to try for the town name around Hyderabad, “but I have a lot of Indian friends. I work for Verizon and, honestly, it’s like little Mumbai in my office. More Indians than Americans! Still, It doesn’t seem very likely you’d get a name like Susan in Hyderabad. What’s your real name?”

“No, really, it’s Susan.”

“Aw, c’mon. If you’re from Hyderabad you’re probably Telegu, and ‘Susan’… I don’t think so. What’s your real name”

She started laughing, “Shivalakshmi Maduraivajiya”

?!?!?!

I almost dropped the phone. I was expecting an Indian name, but not like that one. “Wow,” I continued. “that’s — uhmm — a very nice name. I guess that then your work name is ‘Susan Maduraivajiya’.

Still laughing, “Thank you. It’s not too easy, I know.”

“It’s OK,” I told her. “I have friends with names like Santhanakrishna and Pushpendra Kumar. Mind if I call you Shivalakshmi?”

Needless to say this wasn’t the first such incident, not was it the last. Still in this case… Susan Maduraivajiya? While not as bad as Clint Chandraprasad, it’s still not exactly an easy match. Imagine the shock someone must feel when they first encounter the name in conversation, after being disarmed by the deceptively simple Clint or Susan. “Hi, are you the manager? Mister… Clint? I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your last name… Oh, uhmm… Chandlerplacid? Chaderpreysahd? Chandrapfrjaiufnr? Chan…dra-pra-sad. How do you spell that?” (And, of course, the logical answer would be an indignant “exactly like it sounds, what’s so hard about that?!“)

I guess it would be a bit like walking into a carwash and seeing that the manager’s name is Billy Joe Hongzhang.

While I feel this whole thing is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, I guess if “Billy Joe” is easier for your customers and co-workers to handle than “Bai Li Zhao”, if “Susan” is more endearing than “Shivalakshmi”, and if “Clint” is easier than “Kirtikumar” — and it keeps you from losing sales — then by all means, Americanize away. Just have patience when I try to pronounce your un-Americanized last name. I promise I’ll afford you the same luxury when you try to pronounce my own un-Americanized last name.

One of the things which has most surprised me about marriage is the plethora of home remedies-related baggage The Wife and I carry into the marriage. She has her set of remedies which may or may not work, and I have my remedies which definitely work. Probably. Maybe.

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How much do you sleep? Is that enough to keep you energized all through the day? If you’re like most people the answer is “probably not,” even if you take a good multivitamin/mineral/phytonutrient supplement. That’s why today I’ll be discussing the much taunted, much mocked, and much made fun of to the point of toomucherry yet ultimately effective technique known as “Power Napping”. (Insert whooshing sound.)

Honestly, although it is often mocked, the power nap is one of the best tools for busy people who have to rely on clarity of thought in order to be the most effective at what they do. This includes business executives, counselors, programmers, managers, coordinators, mathematicians, and of course, writers, among others. Basically if most of your work involves thinking and wiggling your fingers on a keyboard, blackboard, or waving a writing utensil over a notepad then this most likely applies to you.

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Recently, I’ve taken to checking out the Craig’s List car sales listings (in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area). It’s been a lot of fun learning about the different makes and models, their reliability, durability, and resale value. One thing that hasn’t been fun, however, has been the constant presence of scammers on the site. That’s why the purpose of this post is to educate you on how to spot and avoid a scam (as a buyer) on Craig’s List (as well as on eBay). I’ll be covering some different incarnations of the most common type of scam, including what to look for.

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