Bill Cosby’s keynote speech in Carnegie Mellon University. I found it interesting because there have been plenty of times in my life when I doubted myself–as we all have. At times I’ve given into that doubt. At time’s I’ve overcome it. The biggest lesson I’ve learned throughout it all? If you’re going through Hell, DON’T STOP!

Right in the middle he starts talking about the first time he got his big break, how the demons inside his head–those voices we all hear that tell us we can’t do something, the voices of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt–took over him during his biggest opportunity and what it took to overcome them. Towards the end he hands us this nugget: “Don’t talk yourself into not being you. At any time. You don’t have an excuse that works. When you say ‘But I was nervous!’ That’s not you! That’s not how you got here! Yeah, you can be nervous. It’s good for you. It tunes you. But people want to see you… When you’re good, then you bring YOU out.”

(Click image for full size image.)

If you’re too lazy to click on the image, here’s what it says: “There are too many spelling or grammatical errors in ‘Core.docx’ to continue displaying them…”

How bad of a speller do you have to be to get THIS error message? Holy Zombies, this is embarrassing. I… I don’t know what to say. Makes me think I should quit right now, just chop up my fingers and call it quits on this whole writing thing.

Before all that however, excuse me while I write a letter of apology to Microsoft, Oxford and the spining corpse of Mirriam Webster.

For a while now, I’ve been buying shows on DVD. Why? Because I don’t want to have to endure one second of a show I can’t stand. It’s been that way for years, which is why I simply don’t watch much television anymore. Add to that the fact that I hate having to watch TV on a schedule and you see my problem: even if there’s a show I like, I’m pretty likely to miss it.

DVDs solve that.

Thing is, finding a DVD in the box, then putting it in, and selecting the episode… well, that’s just too much work. That’s I want an AppleTV.

Right now, when The Wife and I decide to watch television, it goes something like this:

“So hon, what do you want to watch?” I say.

“Whatever’s on.” She says.

“Alright, let’s just flip through the channels.” I Pick up the controller and start channel surfing. “Nope.” Next. “Nope.” Next. “Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Zip. Zero. Na-ah. No way. Negatory. Nein. Rien. Nyet… Yoooou wanna just watch a movie?”

“Sure, which one?”

“Feel like a comedy?” No. “What about romance?” No. “Action?” Maybe. “Sci-fi?” Sure. “Which one?”

“Pick whatever.”

“Alright, then how ’bout this one?” No. “Or this one?” She shakes her head. “This? Any of these? This? This? This? What about this? Feel like… no? This?” Sigh. “You feel like renting something?”

Times like these are why want my television to act like my RSS reader. Seriously, I just want to be able to download all my favorite shows directly, so I never have to turn the channel. (Sort of like if you have a good RSS reader you rarely have to leave it to view a site.) I’d have my own one-person, love-everything-all-the-time network! Imagine how awesome it would be!

“Hey, Hon,” I’d say, “whatcha feel like watch’n?”

“Whatever you want,” she’d answer.

“SWEET! Let’s just put it on random. I don’t really want to have to think about it, and because I like all these shows, anything’s fine.” I’d put it on random, and a show would come up. “Hey, I love this show! Buuut I hate this episode.” Next. “No, not that, either.” Next. “Not that. No, not that. Not that. Not.. Maybe, but let’s see what’s next. Not that. Why do I even have that? Not that. Not that. I forgot about that, but not now. Not that. Not that. How about.. Not that… Yeah, let’s go back to that other one. No not that one, the other… no, not.. Not that one. Not that one… The one before. The one before. No. No. No–THAT ONE! STOP! RIGHT THERE! No, the one before. The one before…”

So basically it’d be like having cable without all the crappy, useless networks. And it would be awesome.

Alright, so that didn’t work out as planned. If it had been planned. I really should start reading more modern poetry. (Although by now you may already be aware of how I feel about poetry.)

Anyway, so here it is: another episode of Le Linkage, and this one’s about all the wonderful stuff making its way into my RSS reader as of late. Some of it is thought provoking, some just fun to read, but most, I’m sure you’ll side with me, won’t make your eyeballs bleed. (There now, that’s better, though not by much.)

What If…: What if you could go back in time to change something about your life? I’m of the opinion that is not only useful when learning your lessons from past mistakes (especially the mistake of inaction). This post, however, puts a new twist to this question, one that makes you really ask “what if…?” (h/t A Rain of Frogs).

The Search for Meaning: When are people truly happy? Not after the fact of accomplishment, but in the act of the accomplishing. We are creators, and as such true happiness comes to us when we have a purpose, and when that purpose has a meaning. (Think of the word “meaningful”, what does it say to you? This gives us a clue as to the importance of meaning.) The lack of meaning brings desperation. The existence of a meaning brings with it faith and subsequently hope. (h/t Wurkit Books)

The Need to Understand Pop Culture: I’m not exactly what you’d call a “fan” of pop culture, yet the need to understand it has made itself apparent to me over the years. It hasn’t been an easy transition — I, like other social outcasts, thought it to be somehow beneath me — but it has been an enlightening one. What I find most perplexing now is how one person can deride and even ignore his own culture on one hand while on the other glorifying another which does the same, but in another language. (h/t Helpdesk Magazine)

Why Unsubscribe from a Blog: RSS is a wonderful thing. With one click you can get all of the content from a website you’ve just found delivered to you directly. Of course, the subscription part is easy, it’s the unsubscribing part that sometimes isn’t (depending on how much of a pack rat you are, I guess). What gets you to unsubscribe from a blog? Conversely, why would you really want to subscribe to one in the first place? As for me, I’m very picky about who I subscribe to, and most often won’t subscribe on a first visit. If I find I’ve visited your site multiple times, then I’ll put you on. This is because I have a strong pack rat instinct, which means that once your on my RSS reader you’ll probably not get off of it, unless I find your content boring in the long run (meaning for months), or your blog goes to bunk. (Lack of updates will NOT get me to unsubscribe.) (h/t Pelfism is Contagious)

Gender and Fan Studies: I’ve been around the anime/japanophile subculture for quite a bit, and one thing I’ve always found interesting is how almost predictably rigid the characteristics of people in that subculture are. I suppose these are but accented outgrowths of the culture in general, but I find they’re much easier to identify there than in other subcultures. The following is a set of essays in Professor Henry Jenkin’s blog studying just that: the role of gender in fan cultures. Very interesting read, especially to students of gender studies. The title link, by the way, is only the first post in the conversation. Here are the others: (1, 1.5, 2, 2.5, 3, 4, 4.5, 5, 5.5, 6, 6.5, 7) I’m sure there will be more, so keep an eye out. (h/t Confessions of an Aca/Fan — This, by the way, is one of my favorite blogs, and is a suitable supplement to the question asked by Helpdesk Magazine’s Michael Ono.)

Public Service Announcement on the 9Rules/Pokemon Quarantine: Alright, so the rest of this stuff is thought provoking, now for something more light hearted. This is one of the funniest posts I’ve read, and while it’s pretty much a “you had to be there” humor piece (specifically dealing with a Pokemon thread which garnered over 1300 replies in a forum where a “big” thread gets just over 50), it should be good for at least a smile. (h/t hthth)

Blogathon for Cancer Research: Fellow 9Ruler Kamigoroshi’s blogging for a good cause, and you can help! She’s looking for sponsors for a 24 hour blogathon. All proceeds go towards cancer research (and seeing as Kamigoroshi’s a cancer researcher, this is only fitting). The sponsorships don’t have to be much — maybe $10, or the price of a couple of frappuccinos at Starbucks — and every dime helps. Considering cancer rates are rising, doesn’t it make sense to help, since there’s a fairly good chance you’ll need the research in the future? Factoid: 0.8% of the total US population is diagnosed with cancer every year. Think about that. Now, go and donate.

(Edit) Why Barack Obama Scares Me: “What really scares me about Obama is that he quit smoking!… We don’t need a president who might nuke Mexico over a bad burrito because he’s having a nicotine fit.” (h/t Roblimo)

This actually brings up a memory. I used to work at a place where my real-life pointy-haired boss wanted to get into the whole “blogging” thing. Problem was that his idea of a blog was Fark. Oops! Smooth move there, Ex-lax. So, for months on end he tortured both me and the blogosphere by forcing us to endure “his” thoughts on the tech industry via this weird snippy, snide blog/Fark wannabe thing, complaining in ways that were almost verbatim to the comic. (“This isn’t witty enough” was one of the complaints, if I remember correctly. Also “it’s too long. Make it shorter, funnier, but with more info.” Really.) I’m happy to report that last I checked that bane to the Web had been eliminated. (Actually, the blog was a great idea which had just been horribly, horribly implemented.)

Anyway, about the comic: thing is, the person who dropped this off on my desk never told me who they were, so I don’t know who to thank for the VERY appropriate laugh. Instead I’ll just thank Dilbert’s creator, Scott Adams.

Behold, the power of the Internet! Two-hundred thousand years of human evolution and technological revolution, all so we can laugh at a kitten going buck-wild on a laptop.

Business School Podcast for Free: America’s leading business schools — Wharton, Duke’s Fuqua School, Harvard — are all making courses available for download via iTunes. (If you expect me to tell you why this is good, you’re wasting your time. Go check it out now.)

The Perfect Mark: Ever wonder if anyone actually ever falls for those emails we all get promising to make you rich if you help out some Nigerian widow stash US$45-million in your bank account? Wonder no more: the answer is yes, and who they ensnare might surprise you. This New Yorker piece is an actual story about a guy who, in his greed and pride, fell victim to these scammers and ended up in jail for it. [Source: Black Marks on Wood Pulp. Also, reminds me of this previous Gnorb.NET piece on avoiding CraigsList scammers.]

Becoming Human: So, how did we get from where we were 4,000,000 years ago as simple, knuckle-dragging Australopithecines to the current state of Homo Sapiens? This very interesting Flash video shows you where we came from and how we got here.

Washington’s Farewell Address Translated into Modern English: In the course of human history, not many have had quite as strong an impact as General George Washington, the first President of the United States. His farewell address is agreed upon by historians to be one of the finest in all American politics, since it deals with issues we struggle with even unto this day. The problem is that since it is written in 1790’s English, most people today can’t really understand it, which is why xkcd undertook the task of translating the piece into modern English. One his commenters upped the ante, reposting a modern day translation of the American Declaration of Independence.

The Height of Hubris? Ever seen the movie Gattaca? In it, the main protagonist is a lowly, genetically inferior human trying to get to space. In the process, he begins transforming his body, one of the ways being limb-lengthening surgery. In this BetterHumans piece, Simon asks whether his personal desire for such a surgery (available from a reputable source for as low as US$20,000 in China) is hubris, or whether he really is justified in wanting to make himself taller. After all, “The majority of CEOs are over six foot, the taller US presidential candidate tends to win the election, and people earn more money, on average, with each extra inch of height.” Here, he outlines reasons for and against the surgery. A very interesting read, especially for those interested in Transhumanist topics and cosmetic surgery.

The Last Question: So, we’ve seen where humans came from and where we are. Now, where are we going? Sci-Fi legend Isaac Asimov tells a short, trillion-year tale of how this whole human experience might end, and maybe how it began. “The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five-dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way…”

Multi-Touch Monitors: This is seriously cool. In this video, Jeff Han and Phil Davidson demonstrate how a multi-touch driven computer screen will change the way we work and play.

Holy Crap! Is This Real?! And now, for something totally different.

Online Game: Dodge: Simple and Addictive: Does it get any better than that? It’s the kind of game that keeps you as entertained as a stoner watching a side-loaded washing machine. Whoooa…. hey, nachos!

Well, that does it for this week. You can check out the previous episodes in the Le Linkage category of Gnorb.NET.

It burst into flames and killed my daughter, November 19, 2006 Fun = 1 star out of 5. Overall = 1 star out of 5.

How could Sony betray me like this?!? I waited in line for three months–yes, I started the very first line for the PS3 way before anyone else. I endured the elements, the snide comments, and unemployment (I was fired from my job after the first week) because I wanted to be the very first person to play what I imagined would be the salvation to all my dearest dreams. Rumor had it that playing a videogame on the PS3 would be like injecting heroin directly into your eyeball. I believed the hype and worshipped Sony as my god.

Finally, with nearly every credit card maxed out and two debt consolidation plans under my belt, the great day arrived and I fought my way into the store to get my hands on this wonder console. Leaving the store I did a little victory dance and then drove up and down the parking lot taunting those who did not get a PS3. Then it was off to home to play this little beauty.

I hooked everything up while my wife and children watched and applauded at my direction. It was time to play the first game! After two hours I noticed that waves of heat were pouring off the console, so I told my daughter to hold it up in the air in front of a fan while I continued playing, waiting for the opiate-like ecstasy that was soon to overwhelm me after I shot to death another video game enemy. Things went fine for awhile; an hour later the box began whistling and my daughter complained that it was getting too hot to hold. I figured this was just what they called “burning in” and continued playing.

Then, at the four hour mark, my daughter began complaining of blisters and within fifteen minutes the entire console burst into flames, the plastic casing scorching and bubbling as I rushed to complete the level. But I was too late, and my precious daughter burned to death. Wracked with sadness at not being able to save my game, I immediately called my lawyer to review my options for a massive lawsuit.

I am sure we all expected a few “bugs” and “glitches” and “inconveniences”, but that does not excuse Sony for selling what appears to be a blazing DEATH TRAP.

Caveat emptor!

UPDATE: Those who doubt me should know that I have already granted several interviews to bloggers about this story. My surviving wife and children certainly think this is all too real. Also, I would like to change my overall rating to two stars since the gameplay was fairly good until it burst into flames.

Here are some of his other reviews. You should also check out his wedding registry. If all else fails, check out his blog, neither of which include this particular review.

Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Source: ChaosMatrix.org.

Download Online Streaming Videos:As you can probably tell, I love watching videos on YouTube. Yes, I’ll admit, I tend to watch more bits of copyrighted material (like The Colbert Report and South Park) than I do stupid people tricks (with the exception of the Angry German Kid and the Numa Numa guy). Once in a while, however, I run into videos I’d like to keep, videos I can’t really purchase, like Chihiro Onitsuka’s Little Beat Rifle music video. KeepVid exists for times like that, by allowing users to download the FLV (Flash Video) file and play it like any other video. You’ll need to download an FLV player to view the videos, but you can find those just about anywhere (including KeepVid.com) for Windows, Mac, or Linux. For you Firefox users, however, there are also extensions that will allow you to download all sorts of media content.

Comic Book Loving Political Junkies Rejoice! The Slate Online has published a comic book version of the entire 9/11 Report. Unlike just about every other comic out there, this one features real world situations, with very real heroes and villains. And unlike the ABC docudrama on the matter, this one actually sticks to the facts. Very well worth reading, especially if you want to read the 9/11 Report, but don’t care to slush through a thousand pages of government documents. More government documents should come in the form of comic books. Think about it, how much easier would doing taxes be if your forms featured Batman, simplifying the efforts The Confuser and TheObfuscator while keeping Mr. FreezeYourAssets at bay?

Super Hero Thanksgiving: Speaking of comics, ever wonder what your favorite super heroes were thankful for during Thanksgiving? Probably not. Someone out there did, however. If you need a cheap laugh, this will probably do.

Quantum Mechanics Made Relatively Simple: In this series of audio and video lectures, theoretical physicist Hans Bethe explains quantum theory and makes it simple enough for just about anyone to understand. These lectures were originally intended for the residents of his neighbors at the Kendal of Ithaca retirement community, but now you too can learn about the physics of the very small, even if you don’t have a full grasp of higher level mathematics.

China and Copyright law: Ever wonder why the Chinese seem to take such a flippant attitude towards copyrights? Here’s a hint: a large part of it is cultural. AsiaBizBlog is a great resource for anyone planning to do business in China, and this particular podcast covers the issue of copyright in a way we in the west can easily understand. (Not that it’s a hard issue, but rather because it is very nuanced.)

5000 Years of Middle Eastern History in 90 Seconds: No wonder these people are always fighting! This flash video goes through 5000 years of history, from the Sumerians to the current day political situation in the middle east. Very interesting video.

Language Roots of Indo-European Languages: Most of us know that English came from a combination of Germanic and French dialects, and that Romantic languages all came from Latin, but did you know that Latin was a subset of something called Latino-Faliscan, and that this language had the same roots as Celtic and Indo-Iranian? This language map shows all of that and more. Very interesting for those into language philosophy and linguistics.

Imagine Earth without People: There’s a saying that goes something like this: Get rid of all ants and parasites in the world and in 50 years everything dies. Get rid of all humans in the world and in 50 years everything flourishes. The sad part is that, for the most part, that’s true. But what if suddenly, tomorrow, every human on Earth disappeared (as in “off the planet” not as in “dead”)? What would the planet look like? What would happen to the bridges and buildings? How long would things last? Very interesting reading for anyone who likes to think about alternate realities.

Lots of Classic Games in FLASH! Space Invaders, Asteroids, Pacman, Snake, Frogger, Simon and other classic games, all in flash. Like the classics? Get ‘em here.

PlanetQuest: Help Discover New Planets: How thrilling would it be to discover a new planet? More than 100 planets having been discovered outside our Solar system. Why not get in on the fun? Using distributed computing — like what the SETI@Home project uses — PlanetQuest hopes to help discover even more planets, some of which may even hold life and be habitable for humans. The project isn’t done, so no software can be downloaded yet. Still, how cool would it be to someday have your descendants travel to a planet you helped discover?

Google Reader: These days, it seems as if you can’t go more than ten steps without reading about what Google is doing. The problem is that, other than search, most of their efforts have met with little fanfare. That may not be the case for long, if Google Reader is any indication. If you’re looking for an RSS reader, especially if you’re looking to replace your current account, check out Google’s newest tool. Robert Scoble did, and it looks like he liked it. After seeing it in action for myself, I may jump the Bloglines ship and do the same. (I’d like to thank Roy for sending this tip.)

Fark Search Engine: While Fark started out being nothing more than a site featuring a picture of a squirrel with giant testicles, it has quickly become one of the Internet’s most interesting “news” sites. Unfortunately, using their search functionality sucks. That’s why someone has come up with the idea of creating a Fark-specific search engine. Now, you don’t have to search the archives or tackle the thoroughness of Google to find that funny headline you saw three or four months back.

I present to you… Donald Rumsfeld, Kung-Fu Master.

This comes from Nani?’s sig file over at the Misfile forums.

To the RSS crowd: This will probably be the last Halloween post. If you haven’t dropped by the site yet, I’d recommend you do so: I quasi-decorated for Halloween with some help from Misfile.

Alas, it seems not everyone got the message. UNICEF was been left out in the cold about blogs. The first half of the decade went by, and the benevolent UN pet project seemed content to just sit this meme out. This changed today, however, when I looked in my comments queue and discovered a comment waiting to be moderated. I guess UNICEF is getting into the blogging scene after all, even if it is a few years too late. Still, I don’t think someone over there grasps the entire “blogging” concept. After all, you have to get your own blog to blog in; you don’t blog by just dropping off random comments in other people’s blogs.

Anyway, just to be nice to this set of dorks, I’ll go ahead and repost their message here. It is, after all, well written, and serves as a sort of “public service announcement” from Gnorb.NET (not that I need to have one, but still). So, without further ado, here it is: UNICEF’s blog spam.

Whether tragic events touch your family personally or are brought into your home via newspapers and television, you can help children cope with the anxiety that violence, death, and disasters can cause.

Listening and talking to children about their concerns can reassure them that they will be safe. Start by encouraging them to discuss how they have been affected by what is happening around them. Even young children may have specific questions about tragedies. Children react to stress at their own developmental level.

The Caring for Every Child’s Mental Health Campaign offers these pointers for parents and other caregivers:

• Encourage children to ask questions. Listen to what they say. Provide comfort and assurance that address their specific fears. It’s okay to admit you can’t answer all of their questions.
• Talk on their level. Communicate with your children in a way they can understand. Don’t get too technical or complicated.
• Find out what frightens them. Encourage your children to talk about fears they may have. They may worry that someone will harm them at school or that someone will try to hurt you.
• Focus on the positive. Reinforce the fact that most people are kind and caring. Remind your child of the heroic actions taken by ordinary people to help victims of tragedy.
• Pay attention. Your children’s play and drawings may give you a glimpse into their questions or concerns. Ask them to tell you what is going on in the game or the picture. It’s an opportunity to clarify any misconceptions, answer questions, and give reassurance.
• Develop a plan. Establish a family emergency plan for the future, such as a meeting place where everyone should gather if something unexpected happens in your family or neighborhood. It can help you and your children feel safer.

If you are concerned about your child’s reaction to stress or trauma, call your physician or a community mental health center.

Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

(By the way, I checked UNICEF and couldn’t find a thing on this campaign on their site. I did find it, however, at SAMHSA’s National Mental Health Infomation Services website. Still, I’ll keep it as a UNICEF thing because (a) that’s what it said on the message posted, and (b) UNICEF’s in France, so it’s funny. See, just saying “France” made you think about smiling, a lot more than “SAMHSA” did, right?)