Gnorb.NET

Humanity encompassed in a world wide LOLcat. Wow.

Quadruple Bypass… Burger?

Topic(s): Random Web Things

I think I’m going to puke.

What a whopper! This towering 8,000-calorie beefburger’s certainly not for the faint-hearted.

It has four slabs of beef weighing 2lbs, three cheese layers, four bacon rashers, lettuce and tomato.

The Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona, has wheelchairs to cart off belly-busted customers who tackle the Quadruple Bypass Burger.

Also on the menu is the slightly smaller Triple Bypass Burger and Flatliner Fries cooked in pure lard.

And for extra credit… (sic)

UNICEF Blog Spam?

Topic(s): Humor, Random Web Things

It’s all the rage: government and international governmental bodies using blogs to get out their message. Why, the US military has been using blogs for years to confuse terrorist search engines like Yahoo! and DogPile. Later on, other government agencies, such as the FCC limbered up their lifeless fingers and stiffly attempted to write something akin to teeny-bopper speak, only to realize that people liked them fine when they were allowed to blindly hate them.

Alas, it seems not everyone got the message. UNICEF was been left out in the cold about blogs. The first half of the decade went by, and the benevolent UN pet project seemed content to just sit this meme out. This changed today, however, when I looked in my comments queue and discovered a comment waiting to be moderated. I guess UNICEF is getting into the blogging scene after all, even if it is a few years too late. Still, I don’t think someone over there grasps the entire “blogging” concept. After all, you have to get your own blog to blog in; you don’t blog by just dropping off random comments in other people’s blogs.

Anyway, just to be nice to this set of dorks, I’ll go ahead and repost their message here. It is, after all, well written, and serves as a sort of “public service announcement” from Gnorb.NET (not that I need to have one, but still). So, without further ado, here it is: UNICEF’s blog spam.

Whether tragic events touch your family personally or are brought into your home via newspapers and television, you can help children cope with the anxiety that violence, death, and disasters can cause.

Listening and talking to children about their concerns can reassure them that they will be safe. Start by encouraging them to discuss how they have been affected by what is happening around them. Even young children may have specific questions about tragedies. Children react to stress at their own developmental level.

The Caring for Every Child’s Mental Health Campaign offers these pointers for parents and other caregivers:

  • Encourage children to ask questions. Listen to what they say. Provide comfort and assurance that address their specific fears. It’s okay to admit you can’t answer all of their questions.
  • Talk on their level. Communicate with your children in a way they can understand. Don’t get too technical or complicated.
  • Find out what frightens them. Encourage your children to talk about fears they may have. They may worry that someone will harm them at school or that someone will try to hurt you.
  • Focus on the positive. Reinforce the fact that most people are kind and caring. Remind your child of the heroic actions taken by ordinary people to help victims of tragedy.
  • Pay attention. Your children’s play and drawings may give you a glimpse into their questions or concerns. Ask them to tell you what is going on in the game or the picture. It’s an opportunity to clarify any misconceptions, answer questions, and give reassurance.
  • Develop a plan. Establish a family emergency plan for the future, such as a meeting place where everyone should gather if something unexpected happens in your family or neighborhood. It can help you and your children feel safer.

If you are concerned about your child’s reaction to stress or trauma, call your physician or a community mental health center.

Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

(By the way, I checked UNICEF and couldn’t find a thing on this campaign on their site. I did find it, however, at SAMHSA’s National Mental Health Infomation Services website. Still, I’ll keep it as a UNICEF thing because (a) that’s what it said on the message posted, and (b) UNICEF’s in France, so it’s funny. See, just saying “France” made you think about smiling, a lot more than “SAMHSA” did, right?)

Gnorb in South Park?!

Topic(s): Games and Entertainment, Humor, Random Web Things

No, I wasn’t asked to be on the show.

Instead of putting up an insightful and witty post this time (one without the word “booger” in the title), I’ve instead decided to follow suit with Renagade Zen and post a picture of myself as a South Park character.

South Park Gnorb

Using the South Park Character Generator, you can — and should — do the same. (For anyone interested in posting their South Park character picture who doesn’t have any place to upload it, just email it to me, norb@gnorb.net and I’ll store it on the server for you. Note that images can’t be hotlinked from anywhere else, though. Sorry.)

For the record, there’s no option to choose a fat body, which eliminates the possibility of about 65% of the US population being able to create true-ish self-portrait (that includes me), but allows us to see what we’d look like if we were paper cut-out cartoons and in shape-ish. Also, I know the whole “South Park” thing is somewhat (a decade) old, but I checked with 1997 and no, it didn’t mind if I borrowed its joke for a while.

The meme continues…

Edit: Here’s The Wife:

cindy-southpark.jpg

Vote for “White and Nerdy”

Topic(s): Movies and Music, Random Web Things, Videos

No, I’m not talking about the latest political candidate. I’m talking about the new Weird Al Yankovic video, White and Nerdy. I’m asking all readers who care just a weensy little bit to vote for it over at the VH1 Top 20 Countdown list. Just find his name on the list and drag it to the #1 slot (or one lower, but #1 is best). From there on, vote for whatever you want. (I ended up putting Gnarls Barkley at #2 and Evanescence at #3, with the rest being pretty much guesses.)

If you haven’t seen the video, you can catch it over at Weird Al’s MySpace page. (If you haven’t been to a MySpace page, you’ll want to stop the player which automatically starts up. Scroll down a bit on the page, just past the Straight Outta Lynwood picture, and click the Play button on the first video player.) It’s hands down one of his best songs ever, since it’s not just funny, but actually really good. If you liked Amish Paradise you’ll definitely love this, which all by itself pretty much pwns anything in his previous CD, Poodle Hat.

Anyway, go and watch it, then vote for him, capiche?

By the way, if you like the video, and you support artists who arent self righteous and pompass about their celebrity status, grab yourself a copy of the Straight Outta Lynwood CD. After all there aren’t too many artists that will go as far out of their way for their audience as this guy will. Might as well vote with your dollars, right?

Finally, I’ve decided to put this video up for all of you thinking of not buying this CD, instead choosing to go the LimeWire or Gnutella route. Enjoy.

Edit: I didn’t know this before, but MySpace gives you the code to put the video on a Web page (like, say, this one). Here’s the White and Nerdy video. Still, head over to Weird Al’s MySpace site to listen to a few more of his songs. And remember, BUY THIS CD (using this link, please).

South Park Episodes Available via YouTube

Topic(s): Random Web Things

Don’t know if any of you know about this, but there’s aparently been a community effort brewing in YouTube for some time aimed at bringing South Park episodes online. Frankly, I don’t know whether the company allows this or (more likely) whether this use is technically illegal, but I haven’t been able to find as extensive a collection for any other show.

In any case, if you’re a South Park fan (I’m not, generally) you can now get your fix via YouTube.

Click here to run a search for the phrase “South Park Episode” on YouTube.

Edit: The videos have been taken down due to copyright restrictions. Guess they were illegal. Sorry about that.

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